Today as I sat down with my cup of tea at my desk and began to go through emails, I put on some worship music and just felt the need to stop and pause. It felt like my heart was telling my head to slow down and embrace this simple moment. I pulled out my bible and just began to read where I had left off. Romans 4:8 hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes I've read it before, yes I've read it 10x before but today I had a revelation.
"What JOY for those whose record the LORD has CLEARED of SIN"
I began to think upon that thought and I was brought to tears. How many times in a day do I think to myself "well that was dumb" or "shoot I shouldn't have done that" or "really?? Did I just do that?" Every day I fail in every aspect of my life and I've been dwelling on my failings when the opportunity to find joy was in everyone of my failings. Sin entangles me constantly but I have a God who takes my sin upon his shoulders so that I could have joy. Joy isn't an emotion, joy is a state of being, it's a choice. You choose joy. You can be broken and have joy, you can be lost and have joy, you can be delighted and have joy. Joy is a feeling in your soul that is not conditional to the season of live you're in. Today I found freedom that I can be in a constant place of joy because all of my sin is instantaneously gone. All of my failings stop at the cross.
Thinking about life and all of the records we have; credit records, relationship records, career records etc, it can become overwhelming to think about how much is on our records. For me I find it hard to get past my relationship records and career records, if I don't think about it and just keep moving, hopefully it will take up less space in my head. But today when I read this verse I realized through the eyes of my Father my record is absolutely clean. Spotless. Pure. Perfect. Erased. I've known this thought for years but I'm beyond thankful for moments when God speaks straight to my heart and says "Em, stop trying to clean up you're own record, it's already clean. It doesn't exist anymore. I got it. Don't worry about it anymore, I have it."
He's got yours too. It's already clean. The past is gone and a new future is already here.
Em xo. (all of these thoughts are my own)